Jon is a meanie-face poopie-head.

I was looking over CNN.com as I am wont to do when my DTs kick in (which is usually a few hours after my latest news fix) when I noticed, near the links directing me to a story that contained a bit about Powell being shot at, and Bush trying to get eskimo pussy (good for me! good for you!), a blurb about the Laci Peterson trial. Apparently, Laci's mom yelled at Scott. I should've been surprised, but I wasn't. You'd think that the haute crowd of CNN readers would be above such drivel, but we aren't. I've clicked on links relating to Brittany Spears' weddings before. But, Brittany's many liaisons are at least mildly amusing. I fail to see how people are interested in whether or not Laci's mother cracked on the stand. Perhaps if she stood up, and in her best James Cagney impression muttered something about dirty rats killing her daughter, the news would be worthy. Unfortunately for we Ninja Turtle Movie fans, she wasn't that neat. Instead, she simply, according to the article, raised her voice at Scott and admonished him for killing instead of divorcing. The powers of her voice were such that several jurors were surprised.

This makes a funny image in my head. I'm picturing a withered, old blonde crone cracking her foundation in a fuzzy attempt to appear intimidating. Perhaps her voice resonated around the room, slowly gathering power until it unleashed it's ultimate, final, mega-come-upperance to Scott's ears, and a few nearby Jurors who have never heard rich lady screams before.

I probably shouldn't joke about such things. I mean, what if it were my daughter who were killed and thrown into the bay? Well, if it were my daughter, I wouldn't scream at the murderer on the witness stand. I'd probably dole out justice with a rusty grapefruit spoon. I hear they do nasty things to testicles. Chest-pounding aside, if it were my daughter, CNN wouldn't put a blurb about my simpering on the front page of its website. There most certainly would not be almost two years of constant news coverage. My daughter might have a little missive in the back of the obituary page. I don't think my daughter would be rich enough, or WASP-y enough for the national news media.

Let's take a look at statistics. Laci was killed around December of 2002. In 2002, alone, there were 16, 110 reported homicides in the United States. I stress the word reported, not every homicide committed is immediately known to police. Also, according to the same report, one-third of female victims of homicide were killed by husbands or boyfriends. The report stresses that 11%, or approximately 1772 victims were killed by intimates, 74%, or 1311 of that number are women. One-third of 1311 is 433. In 2002, 433 women were killed by their husbands or boyfriends. The article did not show any statistics for the number of pregnant women killed, but I'm pretty sure at a few were.

Now that we've crunched the numbers, we can ask the questions. Why Laci, of all those women? What makes her so special? Are we drawn to chaos in supposedly picture perfect, rich, suburban lives? Does the media over-estimate our attention span?

Since Laci was murdered, 1,255 American Soldiers have been killed in Iraq. Where is their constant news coverage? Why doesn't every individual soldier have a link on the CNN front pages, showing their angry families screaming at our government? Since Laci was murdered, approximately 16,750 Iraqi citizens have died. I have yet to see that number in American print news. Since Laci was murdered, if 2002 statistics have held, 32,000 Americans were killed by homicide. Has CNN noticed? Have we?

I'm not trying to detract from whatever pains the Laci family feels. I'm simply marveling at people.

Does anyone remember the Jon Benet furor? It was bad enough that the short-lived, although very good band, Eyes Adrift (Bud Gaugh of Sublime, Kurt Kirkwood of Meat Puppets, and Krist Nolosevic of Nirvana) composed a song about it. If an underground, left-political rock group wrote songs about Jon Benet, we had problems.

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I was talking to M. last night about my future. I told her that one of my many plans for life involved living in a small Big Sur (California) shack, and writing about the small things in life overlooked by people. I had to step back into myself after telling her that. Have I been noticing the small things in life?

A few weeks ago, I was walking in the quad, when I noticed a girl squatting near a tree. Usually, if I see a girl squatting near a tree, she's urinating and does not want the extra attention. But, girls aren't wont to urinate near trees in the middle of the day. I went for a closer look.

She was talking to a squirrel. The squirrel was fat and probably eyeing her delicious figure for something edible. Every so often she would smile, and the squirrel would chitter nervously and make cheek-stuffing motions. I'm not sure what they were conversing about, but it must've been interesting because it lasted quite a few minutes. Neither of them noticed that I was standing by a far tree, watching intently.

I felt like a voyeur; like I was overhearing something intensely personal. It was slightly erotic and entirely exciting. That, friends, is a holy moment. It was quite beautiful and something I replay in my head every so often.

Ain't that sappy? Were this a scene in a movie, it'd be akin to the most beautiful bag in American Beauty. Honestly, I felt a kinship with that scene until I watched Not Another Teen Movie, which ripped on the American Beauty Bag Scene. Then, I just felt silly.

Beautiful moments and overlooked moments and holy moments and vivacious moments and all these moments that compile the minutes of our lives are, at their core, amusing.

G-d is my laugh track.